Merry Christmas, y'all! (One day early, natch.) Many years ago, I wrote a little diddy about what Christmas means to me. I would repeat myself, but making you suffer that once is enough. But I did want to revisit a point I made in that early post: Paternity can mean everything, and the story of Christ's birth asks us to let go of that crutch and embrace all life as holy.
Some friends of mine recently adopted a little boy. They met his wonderful, generous birth mother. His birth father is unknown to them. The story of his adoption is magical, much like the birth of Jesus. His birth mama was told to read through a series of pamphlets of prospective parents and pick three she thought would be suitable. She asked instead to have them read to her; she didn't want to see pictures of the wannabe moms and dads and have those images influence her. After having many families' stories shared with her, she grabbed one pamphlet and said, "This one." The adoption agency told her she needed to pick three folks, because the family might not be able to take the baby. The birth mother said no. It had to be these folks and these folks only. My friends received a call and were told there was a baby available and that they needed to respond within 30 minutes. The next thing they knew they were in the car, driving to pick up their newborn son.
Many folks go to extremes I cannot understand to have children that are
biologically their own. To me, that is less about parenting and more
about ownership. I do not pretend to understand their motivations. But
the desire to be a parent, pregnancy or not? I get that. And this, my friends, is what a new mother looks
like, regardless of whether or not she gave birth (meet my girl Marea and her baby boy, Sorin):
Their story is beautiful, and Sorin is one lucky little boy. His birth parents are Tongan and his adoptive mom and dad are short little white people. It's gonna be pretty hilarious watching this boy grow into a giant of a man next to his parents. He was adopted into a mind-bogglingly loving family and an incredibly supportive community. I suspect that is what his birth mother sensed, knowing that it had to be Marea and her husband who raised the beautiful boy she brought into the world. How lucky is this kid to have such a generous birth mother and such wonderful parents? What kind of world would we have if every child had such a story of love as his or her beginning?
The above photo shows Sorin and his beautiful mama on his second day in this big, bright world. Look at her eyes! Oh, her eyes. That photo will break my heart until the end of my days. Sorin is growing up healthy and strong, knocking the world over with his ridiculous cuteness. I mean, c'mon people! Look at this kid!
Adoption is a glorious thing. May the joy of this season fill your home and may the miracle of love forever surround you. Merry Christmas, folks!