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Monday, December 24, 2012

Babies and Christmas

Merry Christmas, y'all! (One day early, natch.) Many years ago, I wrote a little diddy about what Christmas means to me. I would repeat myself, but making you suffer that once is enough. But I did want to revisit a point I made in that early post: Paternity can mean everything, and the story of Christ's birth asks us to let go of that crutch and embrace all life as holy.

Some friends of mine recently adopted a little boy. They met his wonderful, generous birth mother. His birth father is unknown to them. The story of his adoption is magical, much like the birth of Jesus. His birth mama was told to read through a series of pamphlets of prospective parents and pick three she thought would be suitable. She asked instead to have them read to her; she didn't want to see pictures of the wannabe moms and dads and have those images influence her. After having many families' stories shared with her, she grabbed one pamphlet and said, "This one." The adoption agency told her she needed to pick three folks, because the family might not be able to take the baby. The birth mother said no. It had to be these folks and these folks only. My friends received a call and were told there was a baby available and that they needed to respond within 30 minutes. The next thing they knew they were in the car, driving to pick up their newborn son.

Many folks go to extremes I cannot understand to have children that are biologically their own. To me, that is less about parenting and more about ownership. I do not pretend to understand their motivations. But the desire to be a parent, pregnancy or not? I get that. And this, my friends, is what a new mother looks like, regardless of whether or not she gave birth (meet my girl Marea and her baby boy, Sorin):

Their story is beautiful, and Sorin is one lucky little boy. His birth parents are Tongan and his adoptive mom and dad are short little white people. It's gonna be pretty hilarious watching this boy grow into a giant of a man next to his parents. He was adopted into a mind-bogglingly loving family and an incredibly supportive community. I suspect that is what his birth mother sensed, knowing that it had to be Marea and her husband who raised the beautiful boy she brought into the world. How lucky is this kid to have such a generous birth mother and such wonderful parents? What kind of world would we have if every child had such a story of love as his or her beginning?

The above photo shows Sorin and his beautiful mama on his second day in this big, bright world. Look at her eyes! Oh, her eyes. That photo will break my heart until the end of my days. Sorin is growing up healthy and strong, knocking the world over with his ridiculous cuteness. I mean, c'mon people! Look at this kid!

Adoption is a glorious thing. May the joy of this season fill your home and may the miracle of love forever surround you. Merry Christmas, folks!


Linda Myers said...

I remember a day like that, 35 years ago. I still have the notes I took when I got the call about our baby boy.

Beautiful picture!

Demandra said...

Awww! Pure sweetness. Blessings to you and yours, Linda. :)

Christine said...


And awwwwww.

But that's love for ya'. Love as something you DO, not just something you feel. I wish more folks could be like your friend and open themselves up like that.

nice story for the season, thanks!

SKM said...

I have so much love for this! I was blessed with a son this year after many years of fertility struggles (all I gotta say was we got lucky - don't know what the hell happened, but we got very lucky with little medical intervention). But considering that my journey on this earth started 34 years ago with my own adoption - I have so much love for folks who open their homes to children who need mamas and daddies. Bless, bless, bless this wonderful family! Love is a wonderful thing.

Demandra said...


SKM--congratulations on your baby boy! YEAH!!!

Here's a hilarious story for ya. My favorite sister (yeah, I just said that) was trying and trying and trying to get pregnant, hoping for a girl (they were blessed with two boys by that point). No luck. Got some painful fertility treatments, nada. They were considering adopting from abroad. Then, my brother-in-law says, "The boys are in school, we're spending way too much money. I think it's time you went back to work." MAGIC FERTILITY TREATMENT WORDS. She got pregnant with a girl pretty much right after that declaration. bwahahahahahahahahahah

Anyhoo, I have fantasies of adopting one day, so hearing your story (and Linda's!) only warms my heart more. Thank you so much for sharing and CONGRATULATIONS!!!! on your mommyhood! What a lucky little guy he is. :)

Imagination Forest said...

This is so precious (': I'm only 17 and my mother always says I'll want to have my own babies one day, but I really don't think pregnancy is right for me. I've always wanted to adopt. There will be some little girl or boy out there looking for a mother, and I'll be able to go and give them what they need. Growing up, I've had so many friends that were adopted and they have wonderfully loving families. It's inspiring. I want to give an orphan the opportunity to grow up in a loving home.

~Anna, of the Imagination Forest blog

Laura said...

Thank you for this wonderful story about the wonder and joy of adding a child to your family through adoption. And that's just it - adoption is just another way of making or building a family. It's not second best; it's just different.

And, I can say from experience that it felt no different holding each of my girls for the first time than it did holding the son I gave birth to. I loved them all just as fiercely.

Heartfelt wishes for a healthy, peaceful and prosperous new year!

Mary Younkin said...

What a beautiful Christmas story. My older siblings are adopted and I've always had a soft spot in my heart for adopted babies and their mamas. Merry Christmas and a wonderful new year to come, Aldra!

lizzie said...

Totally adorable !

Demandra said...

Anna--Perhaps you could just tell your mama that adoption means having your own babies! :) And what a beautiful name you've chosen for your blog. Love it!

Ms. Laura! Motherhood is motherhood. You have 4 wee ones, yes? Marea and Ryan say they want to adopt at least 2 more munchkins. I'm sure they'll be one cranky baby in the bunch. ha! But Sorin is just such a chill little guy. And I will stop gushing now.

Beautiful Mary! Blessings to you and yours, darling.

lizzie--I know! THOSE CHEEKS! And those eyelashes. Ohmylord. Almost makes me want to go get a baby of my own. Almost. ;)

Elizabeth said...

How did I miss this post? I am so glad I scrolled down and found it! I am filled with love and happiness after reading this. Just what I needed right at this moment.

Belated congrats to this wonderful family!