Hello, everyone! I'm back at work post medical leave and doing dandy, albeit busy as can be. I hope y'all are doing well. I heard a rumor that this is financial literacy month. Let's all celebrate by tracking our spending!
In other news, I wanted to share this incredibly interesting and powerful TED talk by Sherry Turkle. Once a champion of the internet and social media, Turkle has changed her tune in regard to the power of technology. In this talk she notes the ways in which technology is changing us on both a personal and cultural level, and it ain't all good. I realize the irony of posting this on a blog, but...well, yeah.
I was hooked when she mentioned a new "skill" that people are trying to develop: Maintaining eye contact with someone while you text. That's right, children! It's important to impart the illusion that you are listening, instead of actually being fully present and learning how to listen deeply to the person sitting in front of you. Shocking.
Some gem quotes: "...people can't get enough of each other, if and only if they can have each other at a distance, in amounts they can control." And another, "We expect more from technology and less from each other...the illusion of companionship without the demands of friendship."
At the end of the talk, she gives a battle cry of using technology to create our best selves and relationships, but doesn't really talk about what that looks like. I felt like the talk was asking us to actually put down the glowing rectangles and learn to reengage with one another on a level that requires focus, patience and attention.
It's a powerful talk. I hope you can find an extra 20 minutes to watch it.
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15 comments:
A hearty AMEN to that one! I think she hit the nail on the head with the part about being in control. It's like all of this technology gives people the illusion of having some sort of relationship with each other, while never having to do the one thing that really makes a relationship exist: be vulnerable.
Glad you're back. I once read a sci-fi story where the people became so technologically-tethered that human contact became rare and gross. Courtship was handled via TV monitors; conception was too and this story was written before IVF was available. Anyway when the family met in person, they did not know how to act and ended up beating up on each other. I thought the story was strange but I guess it was ahead of its time!
Thanks for a reminder to untether myself. I was really good but I noticed that I've been checking emails and going online more often lately. Not a good habit!
Very good and interesting TED talk. Definitely find myself guilty of some of the things she talks about.
ECL--and vulnerability is the scary stuff and the most rewarding, no? I loved the shit out of this talk. Even the parts that made me cringe in awareness that I too engage in the awful behavior. Wake up time!
O&G--I am in a constant battle between unplugging and being glued. One day we'll find a balance, right? Right?!
Martin--hallo! Dude, me too. Me too. Me too. The crazy thing is, it's often damaging. I'll text friends who have moved away, when actually picking up the phone and talking to them is so much more rewarding. I keep thinking of that album by Spearhead, "Stay Human."
I'm so glad you are back and I hope in good health! I've been worried about you.
Thank you for sharing the talk. "I share there for I am" really stood out to me. To me it's oversharing. That photo with her daughters sitting around texting reminded me of a commercial where a father comes home to his two children sitting on the couch texting and he remarks they're in the exact same positions since he left that morning and one would think they'd been doing that all day – which they were. How disturbing an 18 year old wants to learn to have a conversation "someday." I don't understand why so many young children "need" a phone. Whatever happened to a quarter and a pay phone?!? How many children do you see at restaurants just looking at a device?
I think the speaker is being really diplomatic about the issue. I think people are just outright rude taking out their devices during a meal or ignoring the person they are at the movies with, and the people texting and driving are just outright a danger to everyone.
No need to worry, Catherine! I'm not a Recon Marine heading out or anything. :P I'm doing bettah!
I definitely agree with you on the rude thing, but I hadn't really thought about some of the other aspects that she talked about--how we use technology to mask vulnerability. Yes, even with over-sharing! Tell the masses, but not sit down and have that same convo with people close to us? One of my siblings announced a move to the Middle East recently over facebook. She has yet to bother to call any of the family. Um, say what?
I think I need to read this woman's book. She has a new one out, yes?
This is something that struck me--I grew up just as the internet and its subsequent toys were emerging. My nieces and nephews grew up in this high tech, I Share Therefore I Am environment. Two of the kids are 19 years-old. By their age, I had been living independently for 2 years, was working 3 jobs and putting myself through college. Neither of the 19 year-olds can manage to do much of anything. They lack very basic life skills. It's kind of horrifying.
Part of that is due to shitty parenting on my siblings' part, no doubt, but I think a good portion of it has to do with the manner in which these gadgets cause us to disconnect from our genuine experiences (it's all staged) or focus without multiple distractions in order to accomplish something.
I'm rambling. I need to shut up. I just think this is much deeper than rude behavior. I think she's right in that this is changing the very fabric of communication, relationships and consequently our communities.
You are so right. It's so interesting to explore the "why" of the oversharing with the masses. A friend told me her friend announces everything from that she is vacuuming to saying she hates Mondays on Facebook and she's says it's too much. But why is she doing that? Are marketers making us that self-obsessed? It's really amazing how fast these devices have taken over and how much these companies are in control of our lives and children's lives.
I just read a USA Today article citing a 2010 Kaiser Family Foundation study that found people ages 8 to 18 spent an average of 7 1/2 hours a day on digital media. Scary!
How about, "I care about people, animals and the planet, therefore I am."
Thanks for such a thought-provoking post.
I am glad you posted this. This video is one of the reasons I do keep checking around the TED site - once in awhile, there is a gem like this.
I get very upset when I find out that family members are in hospital via FB. My sister always posts when my dad is in hospital without even asking him if he wants the world to know. I always call family to inform them and always ask if something is ok to post on FB, AFTER family has been told.
Two of my mom's sisters had breast cancer and we only found out because one of my cousins mentioned in on FB. WTF? Hello, phone? Oh and we only live 3 miles away, drive by and yell it from the car for goodness sake! (Not to mention the fact, that my mom has 5 sisters and 9 of the 10 grandchildren are women, maybe we should all have been informed about 2 incidences of breast cancer in our family!)
Dudes, let's just start bitching about family. 'Cuz I could do it for days. ahahahahah
Anyhoo, I have been making a concerted effort to be less of a douche who needs to control everything. I picked up the phone today and actually talked with a friend! Yanno, stuff like that.
Thanks for alerting me to this video in the first place, E!
We had our kids and grandkids to dinner last month. My daughter-in-law, whom I love, spent most of the time texting! I wonder if she sees how much she's missing by not being present.
I have an "internet friend" (met via blogs) who has sort of dropped out of my life in the last 3 months without warning. It's made me sad and also made me wonder about the foundation upon which "internet friendships" can be made.
Being an extrovert, I DO love "being in easy touch" with friends, but there is no substitute for hanging face to face with a friend.
Rome before the fall.
Linda--One of my nephews came to visit about a year ago and he was NEVER off his phone. It was kind of creepy. I worry. Ug.
Rachel--Since moving to CA, I've had many "real life" friendships come and go, which is kind of unheard of in the rural communities of my youth. So, I kinda feel that friendships can be alarmingly transient, regardless of their location (for lack of a better world). I do have a handful of internet buddies whom I adore and would love to be able to spend more time with, but there is also this nagging sensation that perhaps I shouldn't disclose so much, etc., because they aren't literally in my face. I chalk it all up to: relationships are difficult and I have no answers. (And I agree, no substitute for hanging face to face.)
Christine--this may be a good thing. If Rome falls, we'll probably have fewer gadgets and will have to interact with each other.
Wow. Loved this video and love the comments here. I feel very alone in my dislike of digital social networks, all the time we spend plugged in (obviously I'm guilty too), etc. My 20-something co-workers tell me to "get with the technology" because I hate FB and don't have an iPhone. I feel kind of sorry for them. Give me conversation over a cup of coffee with a friend; unbeatable.
Desiderata-wasn't it fabulous? I've watched it a couple of times. I was getting ready to write a post about my hatred of the wee iphone/ieverything crap (referencing Eco Cat Lady's great recent post about her "fuddy duddy ways." But now the post must change, because my husband bought me an ipod touch. Ug. I realized I'm actually a bit of a technophobe. Oy!
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