Happy Holidays, folks! I know we're all busy, busy, busy this time of the year, but I do hope the consumer beast has not taken hold of you in an attempt to devour your savings and your peace of mind. Fight it, children! Fight it! Shun malls! Drop kick debt! Matrix kick unrealistic expectations in the face! (Slow motion fantasy violence is way better than taking actual martial arts classes, amiright?)
Over the years, I have become less and less enthralled with buying useless crap for the holidays. Instead, I make things for friends, purchase genuinely needed items (e.g., wine bottle openers, brass knuckles, etc.), donate to charity, or simply tell people the following: Hi. I love you, but I'm not buying you jack shit this holiday. Can we just hang out instead?
Once upon a time, I was an excellent gift giver. I spent fortunes. I gave elaborate presents. It felt great! I was a gift giving hero! But then, something weird started happening. I suppose I was keeping score like a massive douche, because I noticed that people would give me lovely handmade items or inexpensive delights I adored but weren't interested in receiving something similar from me. Folks began requesting expensive gifts. Things I wouldn't have the ovaries to ask for. It morphed into some weird entitlement thing, where it was a given that I would give big. And let's be honest, I may be a do-gooder, but I ain't Jesus. There's a limit to my generosity. Eventually, I received a request that made me snap. No mas, I decided. The fun in giving had been sucked away.
Now folks get to experience the new me: an unpredictable gift giver. They might get something this year. Might not. Might be homemade. Might be from a store. Who knows? The best part is that this new approach in gift giving has eliminated the high expectations I previously encountered. Sure, folks are probably disappointed that the gravy train is gone, but at least I've lost the desire to kung fu people that I love. Oh, who am I kidding? That desire will never leave.
I encourage you to join my inconsistent gift giving brigade. The best way to ease into this slacker credo is to start with nifty homemade gifts. In the beginning, I paired them a small purchased item to help ease the transition. Then, I moved to charitable donations. After that, just the homemade gift. Now? ANYTHING GOES. That stress you feel during the holidays? Yeah. I don't feel that anymore. So, join me. C'mon. You know you wanna.
Let me give you some good places to start. Years ago, I discovered this handy little site when I worked at a homeless shelter for women and children: The Toy Maker. Free toys that require only a color printer and some card stock is a pretty nifty thing. Dudes, seriously. Go now. Check the site out. It is freakin' amazing. I printed out a booklet of the free toys and gave it to my youngest niece. We spent several hours creating magical creatures and nifty toys. It remains one of my favorite holiday memories.
Country Living magazine has a beautiful memory game that requires a color printer, card stock and some craft glue. They have a few grown up homemade gift suggestions as well.
Other classics include crocheting hats and scarves, which I learned how to do thanks to the wonder of Youtube and this pretty awesome gal who features stellar how-to videos and even has patterns on her website. I've also become a fan of embroidery using old school iron-transfers purchased through Etsy. I'm also a big fan of recycled journals via Ex Libris Anonymous. Yes, I could make the journals myself, but sometimes lazy wins. Plus, the folks who own the company have been very kind to me over the years. (No, I am not receiving any kickbacks for mentioning this biz.) Don't forget food gifts. Who doesn't like grub?
And, as always, there is the classic Non-Gift. As in, I love ya, but I didn't get you anything. Agree upon the lack of exchange in advance and you'll be amazed at how stress free the holidays can become. Happy holiday slacking, y'all!
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17 comments:
Amen and thanks for sharing the links!!
I don't think my hubby reads here, so I'll spill the beans... for Christmas this year I'm honoring his (strange) love of Jello. So, I went to Goodwill and bought him the cheesiest mold I could find (who pays top dollar for that?) and I've had friends and family submit recipes to my slightly tongue-in-cheek Jello cookbook. Another friend donated her gently-used "Joys of Jello" cookbook to the cause, and yet another friend wrote a creative, roll onto the floor laughing introduction about the history of Jello (worthy of being on Garrison Keillor's PHC) that will go in the front of the cookbook. I'm going to purchase an exciting array of Jello flavors. All will be presented during the holidays (perhaps while friends are around.) The laughs and fun have been priceless (to borrow a Visa commercial), but the total cost of the gift? $15. Tops.
We like to travel and so several years ago opted to spend money on experiences, rather than stuff. So, it's not that we don't spend money, it's just that we plan and focus it in this way.
Handmade hasn't gone over well with my extended family, so I mostly just buy for the little kids and send cards. Some food gifts too.
Yay for less stressful and debtful holidays!
Allison--just read your most recent post. Stress not! I would drug you, were I closer. Yanno, all in the holiday spirit. :P
Janeen--Best. Present. EVER. He is gonna love that. Hell, I want a copy and I am afraid of Jello.
Steph--Yanno, when my family complains about gifts I tell them that next year I'll just poop in a box and wrap it. That'll learn 'em! Or possibly cause severe family drama and get you put in an institution.
You do have me thinking... not about pooing in a box, but one person I don't have a gift for yet is a 3 year old girl. I was looking a handmade dolls on etsy and I got to thinking about the scraps of fabric I have tucked away. I might just have to make a doll.
Gosh I wish we lived closer. I can just tell from your post that we would be a good team.
I won't list all the things we have in common, but you know baby!
xoxo,
your east coast sista
@prairiepixie That is such an awesome gift. Those are the kind I like to give.
I started a new tradition last year. I randomly select 2 people I know to receive a holiday singing telegram from the Long Beach Golden Sands Women's Chorus. The people who I did this for last year have mentioned several times how touched they were by it. That is how much they loved it. Best part - it only costs $10 each and it raises money for the choral group (not spamming, but, in case you are interested - http://goldensandschorus.com/events/holiday-telegrams.html)
Unlike you, Aldra, people did not get used to my expensive gifts, they got hooked on my holiday homebaked goodies. I used to spend weeks making millions of cookies and giving them to everyone in the world (at least that is what it felt like). It became a chore to me and I stopped enjoying something that I used to love so much. Now I make them when I feel like it and I deliver to just a few people a year (remember that year I gave some to you?). I'm back to loving it, although, it hasn't stopped all the requests for my cookies. Oh, to be in demand is such a bother. ha ha
I am totally with you. Break the cycle. Do holidays Your Own Way. Take back holiday fever. Spread joy not mindless consumerism. This is actually the first year our kids are getting a (one) present from us. Not because we're grinchy, but because they get enough gifts from relatives, but this year I caved into spousal pressure.
My in-laws got from us, homemade laundry soap, which Dan thought was a little cheesy, but I say, "get used to it people, and inhale that fresh scent!"
As usual, You Rock!
Steph--oh lord. No poop in boxes for children! But cloth dolls are the best. I had to stop going to craft shows because I want to buy one every time I visit and there is just a limit to how many cloth dolls a grown woman should have.
E--yes! I remember the holiday goodies. I love food around the holidays. So yummay! But yeah, expecting people to slave over a hot stove ain't so kind. And isn't the holiday supposed to be wrapped in kindness?
Rachel--I would love some homemade laundry soap! Practical gifts are my favorite. Needs, people! Help folks fulfill their needs! Also? Your holiday celebrations are awesome. Blending of worlds makes quite a lovely tapestry.
Another thing I like to do is to buy mulling spices from my co-op grocery and either (a) put them in a nice little decorated tin (I just bought a bunch for a rock-bottom price) or (b) put them in a decorative "goodie bag" and attach them to a bottle of wine with directions for making mulled cider. This is easily a $10-$15 gift, and semi-homemade for the "crafty-challenged" (people like me. I also stopped giving gifts to every friend and neighbor and instead have given to local charities, then let them know it's in their honor. I'll do one more significant gift in honor of friends and family.
Um, how do you make mulled cider? And what are mulling spices? Is it a combo pre-made or one you have to create or? Details, please! I'm sure I could ask the oracle, but I'm lazy. :P
I have always been an unpredictable gift giver, but it's more because my ideas of what would make a good gift are clearly not the same as most people's ideas...
And @prairiepixie - I love the medley of jello you have planned :)
@ Demandra -
Mulling spices usually consist of cloves, cinnamon sticks, bits of orange rind, nutmeg... and whatever else people see fit to put in them. I'm sure recipes for them are out on the web, but I just find it easiest to buy them in the bulk spice aisle at my co-op. I've only ever mulled cider, but I know that it's possible to mull wine (very German!) and it's possible to mull cranberry juice. There's not much to it... just drop the mulling spices into a square of cheesecloth, tie it off, them dunk them into the juice/brew in a pan and let it simmer for hours. It makes the house smell homey, and guests are content to sip if dinner is taking a bit longer than planned.
Also -- and I hope Mary at BintheK is reading -- CROCKPOTS work wonderfully for this!
If I weren't so lazy I'd also learn to do hot buttered rum, or something like that too.
But I like stuff like this cause it's semi-homemade, but not too difficult if you're not uber-crafty.
I have such a complicated relationship with Christmas. I grew up as an atheist, and I don't think I realized that it was a Christian holiday until I was well into my teens.
My Grandmother (Dad's mom) was a devout Catholic... which, I believe, was partly the cause of his staunch atheism. Anyhow, when she died, my Dad and stepmom made all of these big pronouncements of how they would no longer be celebrating Christmas, because they were only tolerating it for Grandma's sake, so don't expect any presents or anything.
I was SOOO relieved. But the thing is, it only lasted a few years. I guess they discovered what Grandma already knew... that the holidays are an irresistible opportunity to extract penance from your children.
Anyhow, they started celebrating the winter solstice. It sounds all hip and groovy, but what they did is just took all of the Christmas bullshit, renamed it, and moved it 3-4 days earlier. Roll eyeballs, breathe deeply, and try to remain calm. They even make all of Grandma's Christmas cookie recipes, but have renamed them "Winter Solstice Cookies."
AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!
Anyhow, I won't even touch on the gift giving portion of the whole mess, but suffice it to say, I have grown weary of trying to give them things they "want" only to have it turn into a full time job which requires me to be over at their house installing whatever it is, or teaching them how to use whatever it is, or some other bullshit.
From now on they're getting a food basket. Period. End of sentence. I'm sure they'll find something wrong with that too, but, if they don't like it they can donate it to a food bank, because I've had it!
OK... sorry for the rant. I really don't like Christmas.
Love it. Welcome! I inherited a wonderful trait from my mom in which I LOVE to give gifts but absolutely LOATHE being forced to adhere to some arbitrary timeline (holidays, birthdays, graduation, etc). When the mood strikes I am able to coordinate a three day music festival jaunt for myself and my siblings to cover whatever celebrations happened that year. Then there might be silence for awhile. I love gift giving too much to force it when I don't feel moved. I should probably note that I have absolutely nothing lined up for anyone this year.
@prairiepixie - That is by far the most amazing gift ever!
We're doing mostly homemade gifts this year. It's insurance for your budget and you feel good giving someone something you made. I hope it leads to a tradition of doing it every year in our home.
Jackie--your ideas are the only ones that count!
Janeen--gracias! I'm going to try this. A friend of mine always makes "wassil" or however you spell it. Man, so good.
ECL--I don't get why people get all wigged out over solstice/Christmas and all the cross over there. But I do get why people hate the effing holidays. Family and the generations of crap that are contained therein, unrealistic expectations, consumerism, blah blah blah. I'm sorry dude. Why don't you tell them you just don't want to play anymore and opt out? Feel free to send me the food basket. Me thinks that is the best gift you can get.
Saba--love it! The music fest idea is fabulous. I got my mama a painting from Phurba Namgay this year, but outside of that, no family gifts. They will be just fine with it.
Jerry--homemade gifts are the best, in my opinion!
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