Although I was raised by hippies and can be annoyingly laid back, I've still managed to morph myself into a planner. This is not to suggest that I am organized or always well prepared, particularly when traveling. But I loathe last minute events and adore making 5 and 10 year plans. And lists! Oh, sweet, glorious lists. How I love thee.
Over the weekend, I revisited my 5 year plan, using a visualization trick a friend taught me. Financial planning is pretty easy for me these days. It's just a matter of crunching the numbers and sticking to a plan. But I'm not on such solid ground with the intangibles, which is strange, because the intangibles are what it's all about.
For instance, I want to own a home one day. It's not because I'm deeply into architecture and want to stare at right angles all day. My desire for a home has to do with a sense of security, permanence and family. The house is tangible, but the emotional element can't be so easily grasped. Digging to the root of desires in this way has allowed me to focus on the multitude of ways in which I can cultivate the feelings I'm seeking.
This weekend's adventure involved writing down where I feel like I am currently and where I'd like to be. You can work from Now to Then or vice versa to to fill in the middle with the "how-to." The how-to rarely works out the way I think it will, but the steps are always helpful. As I was reading my current and future life status to a friend, she asked me why I wrote so poetically about the future and so dismissively about the present. I reread what I had written and realized she was right.
In my love of greener pastures, I neglected to acknowledge what is fabulous in the present. As I rewrote my little life script, I began to realize that the starting point of A was actually very close to Z. Many of the things I want I already have, and by becoming to attached to the picture of what it "should" look like, I neglected to celebrate how it chose to show up in my life. What a gift! I already have these things I think I need to wait 5 years to experience. Who knew?
Then a few other interesting tidbits started to fall. I realized that many of these future desires were actually within my grasp today, but I chose not to latch onto them. Instead of moving forward and taking action, I wait for the future life image to manifest before I jump in and start living the life I want.
Again, today's actions to manifest desires might not look like the fantasy future. I really want to travel the world, exploring new exotic locations and foods. Yet I haven't even bothered to visit many of the state parks in California or try the Ethiopian restaurant near work. But if I focus on the desire--to have new experiences and expand my understanding of the world--I can have that right here, right now.
Yes, it's absolutely insane that this bit of common sense has eluded me. But I'm slow and quite possibly completely insane. I think you know this by now. Gratitude is always something I must remind myself of and now it has a new friend in my tired brain: awareness. I suppose this is what folks call "mindful living," when we pay grateful attention to what is and what possibilities are right at our fingertips.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Meat Free Mondays
Y'all have probably already heard about this, but I'm always a day late. Thankfully, no longer a dollar short! (That joke will only make sense among my hillbilly brethren, bless you all.) But I just found out about this really interesting new movement to get folks to decrease their meat consumption to help slow climate change.
There is plenty of valid debate saying that no matter what we do, we're screwed when it comes to climate change. I tend to agree with these folks. However, I'm not willing to throw up my hands and say, "Sorry, Grandkids! I know we could have done something to make things not so unbelievably awful for you, but we just couldn't be arsed. Driving to the bathroom is just way too convenient. Your health, safety and very lives aren't nearly as important as my life o' convenience."
I'm a self-absorbed tool, sure. But not THAT much of a self-absorbed tool.
So, here's yet another thing we can do to help Mama Earth and our collective yet-to-be-born grandbabies that also helps our cash flow: Refrain from eating meat one day a week. Hello, Meat Free Mondays, complete with veg recipes, facts, figures and all other kinds of interesting info.
Once again, what's good for Mama is good for the wallet, particularly those of us who spend more for sustainably raised meats from small farms. My lunch and dinner tomorrow? Chipotle black beans with soy chorizo, bell peppers and roasted corn. So, so good and four meals cost less than $3 total.
There is plenty of valid debate saying that no matter what we do, we're screwed when it comes to climate change. I tend to agree with these folks. However, I'm not willing to throw up my hands and say, "Sorry, Grandkids! I know we could have done something to make things not so unbelievably awful for you, but we just couldn't be arsed. Driving to the bathroom is just way too convenient. Your health, safety and very lives aren't nearly as important as my life o' convenience."
I'm a self-absorbed tool, sure. But not THAT much of a self-absorbed tool.
So, here's yet another thing we can do to help Mama Earth and our collective yet-to-be-born grandbabies that also helps our cash flow: Refrain from eating meat one day a week. Hello, Meat Free Mondays, complete with veg recipes, facts, figures and all other kinds of interesting info.
Once again, what's good for Mama is good for the wallet, particularly those of us who spend more for sustainably raised meats from small farms. My lunch and dinner tomorrow? Chipotle black beans with soy chorizo, bell peppers and roasted corn. So, so good and four meals cost less than $3 total.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Fear and Consumption
There's something very juvenile in the American sense of entitlement, and maybe we just have to get older as a country before we stop gorging on stuff.
Why are intelligent adults falling for this? Why are they buying everything their children tell them all the other kids have? Why are elementary school children carrying cell phones and being allowed to text for hours every day?
The above are comments on a previous topic from CRS and an anonymous soul. I just had to yank them out because they sing to me. I find myself a bit shocked when I see comparisons between my beloved United States and other rich nations. We consume like mindless drones with no regard to the consequences of such actions, where other developed nations consume at a slower pace and have a greater emphasis on personal and community development. (Think US vs. Denmark. And yes, I’d still rather live here, ‘cuz I like that little thing called diversity we have going on.)
When I ask parents why they feel their children “need’ cell phones, they always (and I do mean a-l-w-a-y-s) cite safety, as if the world is somehow less safe now than it was when we were children running all over creation without supervision or high tech gadgets. Statistically, we are no less safe today than we were 20 years ago. But you wouldn’t know that from watching the idiot box, whose sole purpose some days seems to be shoving fear down our throats. Murder, wrinkles, kidnapping, oh my! Better go buy something!
In my humble opinion, I think the vast majority of our mindless consumption stems from fear. Every parent fears for the safety of their children. It’s only natural. But it becomes absurd when crime shows and sensationalist infotainment lead you to believe that your child will be abducted by a stranger and her cell phone can magically locate her, thus saving your little one from certain harm.
Outside of the idiot box, crimes against children go a little something like this—relatives and friends of the family are the ones hurting our wee ones. It’s people we trust who damage us most frequently, and no violent person in our circle is going to allow us to make a quick phone call on the cell prior to inflicting harm. And all that crap you see on crime scene shows is just that…crap. Do you have any idea how well funded an agency would have to be to have the kind of sophisticated equipment shown in TV? Um, do you have any idea just how poorly funded most police districts are?
Virtually every product pitched to women is based in fear. Fear of aging, fear of not living up to our purpose as appealing objects, fear of being unwanted in love and careers because we don’t have the proper hair or body size. Again, in reality, the only folks with flawless skin or perfect bodies are those being airbrushed in print. Take a look around you. That fat lady with that shitty 80s hair style down in accounting has a great salary and her husband is so freaking adoring it makes you want to hurl. (Ok, maybe I'm the only one who hurls over PDAs.)
Bad skin, poorly-tailored clothes, and crooked teeth are all around us, firmly planted on people who smile and love and laugh despite the absurd, cultivated notion that that only the perfect shall inherit joy.
I suppose the quick and easy response is that we all just need to learn to have an internal locus of control. It’s a nice theory, but it negates the fact that we all want to feel safe, love and accepted. So, what’s it going to take for us to realize that the fear we so frequently feel is manufactured? How would we have to change the conversations we have with ourselves so that when we notice the first signs of aging, we don’t run out and spend money we don’t have on a product that can’t possibly halt the inevitability of mortality? How can empower our children to know limits and trust that the world is a kind place while being ever mindful of their safety?
I am as guilty as anyone. We are all sinners here, children! Whenever I feel afraid, my first instinct is to shop. And I do feel better after purchasing some idiotic thing, if only for a few moments. I’ve learned a few tricks to slow the tide of consumption—I ask myself a series of questions (do I really need this? Where will I put it?), but those questions don’t address the underlying fear. I see grey hairs and my thinking spins into a spiral of, what have I done with my life? and a million other neurotic ramblings.
I certainly don’t have the answer, but I am committed to learning to identify the fear and find a way to address it directly. Because all that impulse buying to calm myself only contributes to something that truly does merit my concern—a poorly funded retirement and not enough emergency savings to get me through the next economic downfall.
So, tell me dear readers, what do you do when fear that has been carefully crafted compels you to buy? What do you tell your children when they insist that some new gadget is a must and the nightly news leads you to believe their very lives depend upon it?
Why are intelligent adults falling for this? Why are they buying everything their children tell them all the other kids have? Why are elementary school children carrying cell phones and being allowed to text for hours every day?
The above are comments on a previous topic from CRS and an anonymous soul. I just had to yank them out because they sing to me. I find myself a bit shocked when I see comparisons between my beloved United States and other rich nations. We consume like mindless drones with no regard to the consequences of such actions, where other developed nations consume at a slower pace and have a greater emphasis on personal and community development. (Think US vs. Denmark. And yes, I’d still rather live here, ‘cuz I like that little thing called diversity we have going on.)
When I ask parents why they feel their children “need’ cell phones, they always (and I do mean a-l-w-a-y-s) cite safety, as if the world is somehow less safe now than it was when we were children running all over creation without supervision or high tech gadgets. Statistically, we are no less safe today than we were 20 years ago. But you wouldn’t know that from watching the idiot box, whose sole purpose some days seems to be shoving fear down our throats. Murder, wrinkles, kidnapping, oh my! Better go buy something!
In my humble opinion, I think the vast majority of our mindless consumption stems from fear. Every parent fears for the safety of their children. It’s only natural. But it becomes absurd when crime shows and sensationalist infotainment lead you to believe that your child will be abducted by a stranger and her cell phone can magically locate her, thus saving your little one from certain harm.
Outside of the idiot box, crimes against children go a little something like this—relatives and friends of the family are the ones hurting our wee ones. It’s people we trust who damage us most frequently, and no violent person in our circle is going to allow us to make a quick phone call on the cell prior to inflicting harm. And all that crap you see on crime scene shows is just that…crap. Do you have any idea how well funded an agency would have to be to have the kind of sophisticated equipment shown in TV? Um, do you have any idea just how poorly funded most police districts are?
Virtually every product pitched to women is based in fear. Fear of aging, fear of not living up to our purpose as appealing objects, fear of being unwanted in love and careers because we don’t have the proper hair or body size. Again, in reality, the only folks with flawless skin or perfect bodies are those being airbrushed in print. Take a look around you. That fat lady with that shitty 80s hair style down in accounting has a great salary and her husband is so freaking adoring it makes you want to hurl. (Ok, maybe I'm the only one who hurls over PDAs.)
Bad skin, poorly-tailored clothes, and crooked teeth are all around us, firmly planted on people who smile and love and laugh despite the absurd, cultivated notion that that only the perfect shall inherit joy.
I suppose the quick and easy response is that we all just need to learn to have an internal locus of control. It’s a nice theory, but it negates the fact that we all want to feel safe, love and accepted. So, what’s it going to take for us to realize that the fear we so frequently feel is manufactured? How would we have to change the conversations we have with ourselves so that when we notice the first signs of aging, we don’t run out and spend money we don’t have on a product that can’t possibly halt the inevitability of mortality? How can empower our children to know limits and trust that the world is a kind place while being ever mindful of their safety?
I am as guilty as anyone. We are all sinners here, children! Whenever I feel afraid, my first instinct is to shop. And I do feel better after purchasing some idiotic thing, if only for a few moments. I’ve learned a few tricks to slow the tide of consumption—I ask myself a series of questions (do I really need this? Where will I put it?), but those questions don’t address the underlying fear. I see grey hairs and my thinking spins into a spiral of, what have I done with my life? and a million other neurotic ramblings.
I certainly don’t have the answer, but I am committed to learning to identify the fear and find a way to address it directly. Because all that impulse buying to calm myself only contributes to something that truly does merit my concern—a poorly funded retirement and not enough emergency savings to get me through the next economic downfall.
So, tell me dear readers, what do you do when fear that has been carefully crafted compels you to buy? What do you tell your children when they insist that some new gadget is a must and the nightly news leads you to believe their very lives depend upon it?
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